Transcription of a conversation that actually happened this week between an unrelated man and a woman weightlifting at the gym:
While doing incline bench press. . .
Dude: “How many sets do you have left?”
Dude: “Mind if I work in with you? I’ll just warm up once you finish this set.”
Dude: “I’ve seen you lifting some heavy weight before. Is this all you can do?” (referring to the 45lb bar)
Chick: Nervous laughter. “Yeah, that’s it.”
Dude: “You want to get the bar a little closer to your chin. It will give you more power.”
Chick: “Uh. . . okay. Thanks.” (editor’s note: her face did not say ‘thanks’)
Dude: “Did you tell me before that you were married?”
Chick: “Uhhh no? No. Not even close.”
Dude: “Oh, I thought that was you.”
. . .
While doing dumbbell bench press. . .
Dude: Goes over to Chick on the bench. “You want your elbows out a little more so they’re in line with your shoulders.” Touches her elbows to adjust them.
Chick: “Okay. Thanks.” (editor’s note: her face said ‘don’t fucking touch me’)
Dude: “I mean, you can do it with your elbows in a little. This is how I do it, with my elbows out.” Demonstrates what he’s talking about. “See. Like that.”
Meanwhile, I try to make eye contact with Dude so I can give him a look that says “Stop doing that. Really. Just stop.”
When Dude walks away to socialize with other gym rats . . .
I glance over and offer a look of “What the fuck?” to Chick and her face mirrors my own.
Chick: “Oh my god, he touched me!”
Me: Walk over to Chick so our conversation is not overheard. “What the hell was that about?”
Chick: “I don’t know, but he touched me.”
Me: “And ‘Is that all you can do?’ Is he for real?? That’s not cool. I hope he doesn’t come back.”
Chick: “I know. Thanks.”
Me and Chick proceed to bond over the struggle to build strength and how neither of us is athletic or can catch a ball if our life depended on it.
Here’s what’s wrong with this whole situation:
1) Unsolicited advice is never welcome at the gym. Don’t fix someone else’s form because if people wanted help they would hire a personal trainer. In this case, Chick’s form wasn’t even bad it was just different from Dude’s. But even if you see someone with absolutely atrocious form who you’re afraid is going to seriously injure themselves then just tell a personal trainer and they can choose whether or not to talk to that person.
2) If you can’t keep your mouth shut at least keep your advice hands-off. If someone wants a hands-on spotter, they will ask.
3) Never say “Is that all you can do?”. Ever. Especially to a woman who may feel self-conscious in the weight room and be struggling to feel comfortable there among heavy lifting men. And especially to a woman doing chest exercises which, in my own experience, is one of the hardest areas for women to build strength.
It’s moments like this that make me understand why the gym has women’s only rooms. And I now understand that he weights are lighter in these rooms because “that’s all we can do.”4 Comments
Is gaining weight inevitable as we age? - The Globe and Mail
New science is revealing that age-related weight gain has very little to do with caloric balance and much more to do with the altered physiology of the aging body and adverse environmental and lifestyle factors.
Why Your Yoga Class Is So White – The Atlantic
The problem isn’t that people of color can’t afford yoga. They just don’t value it very much. . . “People find money to buy thousand-dollar bags and shoes, and weaves, those cost hundreds of dollars to upkeep. But African Americans don’t have a great track record when it comes to preventative health. Wellness is not really valued.”
Peak Ink: Why Tattoos Have Lost Their Exotic Thrill – The Globe and Mail
The mere act of letting a sharp needle pierce and mark your delicate skin is no longer enough to prove your edgy individuality, and formerly badass body art is acquiring a nostalgic, sepia tinge.
She’s a young woman, so she’s automatically deemed a “sweetheart.” Because we can’t think of a woman with as much blonde hair and as athletic a body as she has as just another athletic superstar.
How to be Happy by Giving to Others – Scientific American
When striving to help others, it may be much better for you to frame your goals in concrete terms than abstract ones, as this could increase your “helper’s high”. The helper’s high not only makes you happier in that moment, but it more strongly motivates you to give again in the future.
Even if you personally and magically were somehow able to nurse a baby past four months old under a cover with no issues, please, I beg you, stop telling moms to cover up. It’s unfeasible.
Are Handstands Good for You? – Breaking Muscle
Our shoulders are not our hips. If we put all of our body weight on our arms routinely throughout a week, month, or year of practice, we risk losing the mobility our shoulders are designed to have.No Comments
I was blessed to have a second consecutive weekend of awesomeness following up my Canada Day weekend.
Friday night I met up with my lady cousins for dinner and drinks at the Kilt & Fiddle pub in downtown Windsor in honour of my cousin Nicole’s birthday. We sat at a table next to a man that kept calling me Amy (“I don’t know your name so I’m just gonna to call you Amy”) and asking me the name of the artist of every. single. song. that came on the speaker. Serves me right for making the mistake of interrupting his conversation with his family as they tried to determine who sang Iris. A: The Goo Goo Dolls. No Shazam App necessary.
But more importantly, we ate a deep fried Mars bar. Check that off your bucket list, Nikki!
Yoga Rocks the Art Walk
Saturday I had the honour of teaching 25 yogis a Power Yoga class under the sun and clear blue skies at Breathe Pilates Studio as part of the Walkerville Art Walk and Rock. It was the biggest class that I’ve ever taught! I was so excited by the turnout especially after the woman that taught the (much more popular) 9am yoga in the streets spread the word through the town that my class would be really, really hard.
My reputation precedes me, evidently.
But seriously guys, it wasn’t too hard right? Right? *crickets*
I attempted to actually spend some time walking down Wyandotte Street to check out the art vendors but, this being
Sesame Street Walkerville, I couldn’t get 10 metres without running into someone I knew who took me to his newly purchased townhouse around the corner. By the time I made it back it was time for me to get back home to the husband to celebrate our anniversary.
Saturday was part 1 of Matt’s and my 2 part anniversary. Because we had a civil wedding and a separate religious one we have two options for anniversary celebration dates and this year we chose option 1. We’ve been married now for 6 years and have been together for 10.
Yes, I said 6 years. No, no children yet. Yes, I got married young. And also, time flies.
We decided to celebrate with a leg of lamb big enough to feed 10, because that’s what we do.
I chilled on the hammock as the lamb was barbecued, drinking a glass of wine on an empty stomach and, ironically, reading a novel about divorce (The Paris Wife. Good read, btw.) We ate and it was delicious. Then we reclined on the hammock some more. Then we ate plum tart that I baked from my Bouchon Bakery cookbook.
None of this sounds very exciting, but sometimes (often) boring is perfect, as was the case on Saturday.
Plum Tart. Not as good as Plum Torte but still a delight.
Baptism by Water
Sunday’s event brought me a new title: Godmother. I saw my niece become baptized in the Catholic Church in the same robe that my sister and I wore for our own baptisms.
Now I am tasked with encouraging her religious pursuits like sacraments, questions of faith, and celebrations of Catholic holidays. Luckily, Matt happens to be the Godfather because his religious devotion heartily trumps my own.
We followed up the sacrament with a catered lunch and an enthusiastic swim in the pool with my sister’s nephews. Kids are fun to swim with that’s for sure. Or fun to swim for I should say, as I spent much of my pool time diving for pool toys on command. And I didn’t mind one bit.
What a weekend this has been, full to the brim with exciting events. I have virtually no photographic evidence so you’ll just have to take my word for it.
You’ll have to take my word for it that Matt took me to the Greek Caroussel yet again for more loukoumades very late on Friday night to appease my bout of hangriness after an absurdly long wait for food at a local restaurant.
You’ll have to take my word for it that I celebrated my cousin’s birthday on Lake Erie where the water was warm and the weather was perfectly hot but breezy. I got a chance to be in a sail boat for the first time– a tiny little thing that seated two uncomfortably and required extreme bodily contorsion so as not to get whacked with the sail. We only capsized once and where I come from (ie. dry land) that’s considered a success. We drank sangria. We ate burgers and party potatoes and cake. It was a phenomenal time.
You’ll have to take my word for it that I rolled my ass out of bed at an ungodly hour on Monday to catch the train to Toronto for a two day visit with my friend Sarah whom I’ve missed dearly. As soon as we exchanged hugs at Union Station she received word that she passed her final exams and is now a Registered Holistic Nutritionist. YAY!
Me on the VIA Rail at a not-so-ungodly hour at this point.
You’ll have to take my word for it that Sarah and I surprisingly (not surprisingly?) spent two days doing a lot of nothing. We wandered the streets of Toronto aimlessly only stopping for food or ice cream or caffeine. Over two days we covered what I later calculated to be 28km in the uncomfortably hot and humid weather while discussing nutrition and exercise and love and gossip. It was totally perfect.
Ice Cream pit stop at Boreal – Balsam Ice Cream FTW
On Monday night I was exhausted from waking up so early, from the heat, and from walking all day so going out at night was not an option if I intended to keep my eyes open. I crashed at 11 in the spare room of Sarah’s ancient rented home with its leaky ceiling, sloped floors, and cracking walls and I awoke grateful that the house survived one more night without collapsing in on itself.
Sarah and I at Queen’s Park
Tuesday was Canada day which means more in Ottawa than Toronto but we visited provincial parliament just the same. It was mostly family oriented event but there was a bit of entertainment, a small farmer’s market, and free strawberries from Foodland Ontario, so I’d call it a win.
What a weekend!
How was your Canada Day weekend?
The Dark Night of the Soul - The Atlantic
We have a lot of positive data [on meditation] but no one has been asking if there are any potential difficulties or adverse effects, and whether there are some practices that may be better or worse-suited [for] some people over others.
Who in their right mind, with all of the underfunded causes in desperate need of financing, would look at a list of online donations totaling more than $130,000 and think to themselves, “Well, clearly this is a cause that needs another twenty bucks”?
Losing Weight May Require some Serious Fun – NY Times
Those women who’d been formally exercising reported feeling more fatigued and grumpy than the other women, although the two groups’ estimates of mileage and calories burned were almost identical. . . The women in the exercise group consumed significantly more calories from these sweets than the women who’d thought that they were walking for pleasure.
Masters of Love – The Atlantic
If you look at what drives the deterioration of many relationships it’s often a breakdown of kindness
I Don’t Wanna Be Right – The New Yorker
Persistently false beliefs stem from issues closely tied to our conception of self
Colouring Books: The New Anti-Stress Activity – The Telegraph
French women have taken en masse to colouring books, using what was long an activity for small children to reduce stress and ease their neuroses.1 Comment
June is my favourite month in Windsor-Essex. So many festivals, so little time! Art in the Park, Strawberry Fest, Art of Eating, Carrousel of the Nations, Summer Fest, Detroit River Fireworks. It’s a busy month.
After being away for the month of June last year for yoga teacher training it was nice to be available to take part this year in all the festivals that are happening.
Art in the Park
At the beginning of the month I went with my girlfriends, sister, and niece to Art in the Park where we browsed Willistead Park for art and crafts and handmade things like artisan soap.
Carrousel of the Nations
I spent the better part of this past weekend at the Carrousel of the Nations which I make a point to visit every year. Since I missed it last year I was extra excited to get my fix of international delicacies.
The Carrousel is a festival of multi-cultural food and entertainment hosted across the city by the respective cultural centres that participate. We managed to visit the German, Caribbean, Greek and Polish Carrousels this weekend.
The Greek Caroussel is one of my favourites because it’s busy, open late, and the food is awesome.
Having already filled up on schnitzel and Jamaican patties, I forwent my usual Greek gyro and went straight for dessert. Loukoumades (or honey balls). They were even better than I remembered.
Volunteer dishes out Honey Balls
The Polish always throw a fantastic party so we couldn’t miss it. In fact, we visited the Polish Carrousel twice. Sausage, pierogies, and cabbage rolls. Yes, please! Not to mention the fact that it tends to be where our friends congregate, so it is a must.
And last but not least, there is always the Detroit River International Fireworks to look forward to– the biggest fireworks display in North America.
We were lucky that the rain held out for us this year and the show was awesome, as always.
We viewed it from a few kilometres away near the Ambassador Bridge, as we tend to do, but still had a great view without having to deal with the crowds.
So basically my taste buds only follow the season in August when my favourite Ontario produce is at its peak.
The rest of the year, anything is fair game. Like stew, which I have totally been digging lately:
Sudanese Peanut, Beef, and Spinach Stew that I hadn’t made since back in the fall. Something about the beef and peanut combination that makes this taste rich.
This Chickpea and Potato Stew with Coconut Milk that I nearly forgot about but love deeply. My Indian cookbook was hidden from view and with it, this recipe.
Pulled Pork because it’s kind of like and stew and do you really need a reason for pulled pork? The answer is no.
Ratatouille because it’s so easy.No Comments
I mentioned in my last post that I was straying from my normal gym to train at GoodLife. I’m doing it as part of their Blogger Ambassador Program which is using the power of internet voices like mine to get the word out about their facilities and the importance of physical fitness to a healthy life. It’s not an idea I don’t promote already.
My first visit to one of their gyms (the Devonshire Mall location) was this weekend. It was a nice quiet Sunday morning and I was struggling to slide the rubber coated plates onto the barbell when a gentleman swooped in to help me. I am generally averse to white-knighters like this, but the weights were really stuck and I was keenly aware of how ridiculous I looked so I appreciated the help.
He turned out to be an off-duty personal trainer who introduced himself, shook my hand, and told me my deadlift form was “impeccable”. Take note gents, this boy sure knows how to compliment a lady
I was able to finish up my back workout without much other interruption aside from seeing and chatting with two acquaintances.
Post workout pump!
I’ve already returned to that GoodLife once, this time on a much busier weekday evening. Despite the crowd of weightlifters I was still able to get all my exercises in without having to sharpen my elbows and fight for a weight rack. Of course I saw yet two more people that I knew there… apparently everyone I know enough to say hello to works out at GoodLife. It could be a problem.
I’d like to try a couple more locations, though I’m not sure how I feel about the Women’s Only gyms. Not enough testosterone.
I also plan to try a class or two, especially the Jillian Michaels Body Shred class that my girlfriend Santina keeps raving about. Though I don’t think I can approach that one with an open mind given how much I dislike Jillian Michaels’ approach to anything.
More reviews to come. Stay tuned!1 Comment
I pulled back on the volume of weight that I would be lifting for Cycle 18 because I failed to meet my target lifts in Cycle 17.
It was a good move and, overall, cycle 18 went well. I managed to hit every prescribed lift, even on my ‘5 rep’ days (which I actually find harder than my ‘1 rep max’ days).
I did feel weak and tired at times during the cycle, which I blame on low iron, but I managed.
Cycle 18 Main Lifts
Deadlift: 255lb for 2 reps
Push Press: 130lb for 3 rep
Squats: 240lb for 2 reps
Bench Press: 150lb for 2 reps (flying solo)
The loads are decent but not PR-worthy and I feel like I should have been able to crank out more reps.
I headed to GoodLife Fitness this week to start Cycle 19.
I added the standard amount of weight to my Cycle 18 loads (see here or here for 5/3/1 how-to’s). Unfortunately it’s been rough so far. But! I’m only 2 workouts in so I’m trying to stay positive and see how the next 2 workouts go.
It might just be that I haven’t been eating properly the last few days, it might be that I’m tired from a weekend of landscaping. It might be that I haven’t been getting as much sleep as I’d like (What I’d like, if we’re being honest, is 9 hours). I don’t know why I’m feeling so weak and off point this week.
The Yogic Approach
I’m going to use this as a learning opportunity though because what’s really cool is that I can take a completely yogic approach to weightlifting.
Yoga teaches me to tune into the subtleties of my body so that I can really be aware of when I feel that I’m off my peak and when I feel strong and energetic. I want to use this ability to pay attention to what I’m doing (with diet, exercise, stress, sleep, etc) when I’m feeling my best so I can use that knowledge to optimize my training.
Don’t worry, I’ll continue to keep you posted as I go. . .1 Comment
This restored Windsor mansion hosted Al Capone and Paul Martin Jr. – The Globe and Mail
Devonshire Lodge is likely the only house anywhere that can lay claim to having hosted America’s most notorious gangster as well as two sitting Canadian prime ministers.
One Exercise That Just Might Change Your Running Forever – Huffington Post
According to legend, this single drill turned a 16 year old with almost no running experience into the foremost racer of his day.
Is it Really “Scientifically Impossible” to Keep Your Weight Off? – Weighty Matters
So why do people gain [weight] back if it’s so important to them? . . . In short they’ve chosen suffering as their weight management modality.
How Americans Got Red Meat Wrong – The Atlantic
Meat eating went down just before coronary disease took off. Fat intake did rise during those years, from 1909 to 1961, when heart attacks surged, but this 12 percent increase in fat consumption was not due to a rise in animal fat. It was instead owing to an increase in the supply of vegetable oils, which had recently been invented.
Push your way onto a subway train in Copenhagen and you blend in. Try the same thing in Glasgow and, well, just try it and see. In London, dumped newspapers on trains are a form of courtesy. In Vienna, they are treated like something dead that the cat’s dragged in.
Are yoga pants ruining the denim business? – Daily Mail
What used to be a premium jeans occasion for women is now socially acceptable to be a yoga pants occasion.
Giving birth was the main reason for inpatient hospitalization in 2012-13. The birth of babies accounted for 369,454 hospital stays in 2012-13.No Comments